Blog Title #108

So tonight I was bored. Well, let's back up. First I was tired then I was bored. Out of my mind. Not even my true love of counter strike could get me over it. So I read the Bible for a while, called Pat talked about stuff, then called Priscilla talked for about 5 minutes then was still really bored. So I went downstairs and played Smash Bros. with my bros. Good times, you know, sometimes I amaze even myself with how good I am at that game.

So I can never have a kid named Steve. We are dog-sitting this week for a dog named Steve and every stinkin time I see him I can help but say "Eh Steve!" It's pathetic. Oh, that and he humps the air.

Short and sweet and with that I'm out.

No! Get your own tots!

So work is like the Plague...ok, I can't really come up with a connection to qualify my simile but I'm sure if I thought about it for long enough, I would get the plague.

So I went to the bathroom at work today. Three times. The third time the loan manager gave me this look like, "Are you really sure you have to go in there again?" and I gave him the look back that said, "Quite sure, my good man." Well, actually, I lied, the look that I gave him merely said, "Yes." but I wanted my look to sound more intellectual*. But anyway, it's not my fault, well it is, but it's not like I was in there for long amounts of time. Well, not really, but that was only once! The first time was because my morning coffee whipped through me faster than Joy reaching for her Reliv**. But none of them can say anything to me seeing as all of them spend half their day outside smoking it up. I swear, every 45 minutes*** they all take a smoke break, it's incredible!

But enough with that. So I talked to Cilla today. Before everyone jumps to put their hands over my mouth **** (besides Priscilla of course), that is not the point, only a bonus that you get to know. The point is this. She has to give a speech and there was a list of things that she could give the speech on. So one of them was what are 5 words that describe you. Now I got to thinking, and before everyone jumps to put their hands over my mouth again, this again is not the point. So by now, you are probably asking, "Luke, what the heck is the point, in fact, you never have points!" And with that you would be correct, but I was thinking that 5 words to describe yourself is pretty crappy. I would need at least 17, and that's pushing it. But anyhow, why is it that speeches in speech classes always have the first speech be about you, and the prof/teacher makes it really easy so in reality they can trick you into believing that they actually care about you and all the speeches will be that easy.

Ah, high school. I have fonder memories of that one time in Brazil surrounded by the Moochi-Moochi tribe right before they said they were going to cut off my extremeties, feed them to their pet pirahna god, and make me watch and right after I made that remark about how it seems that since they could shrink heads they might try the same thing on their high priestess' waistline. Now that was a pickle.

But ah, high school. Ah yes, the ever popular first day of of the freshmen year. Mr. Carper's Biology class. Then I had health, with Coach Neverly, then English with Mr. Collins, then lunch of course in which I sat with Chris and Jeff the whole year, then it was off to Chemistry with Mrs. Parks (who I hear is retired now) and of course after that was Geometry, the bane of my exitence with the teacher ironically named Mr. Babel (seeing as he made little to no sense, most of the time), I finished out my day with Geography with Mrs. Rash (I'm not even going to touch that one) and of course study hall in which we had assigned seating and I didn't get the nerve to try to leave that seating until midway through the semester and that was only because Vince was driving me nuts by asking if I had any new games on my TI-83 plus and I kept telling him I didn't want his drug cartel game because it talked about whores. But who really remembers high school anyways?

So prayerfest is tonight. I'm looking forward to it, I hope there are some people there from West Chicago, I plan on praying for that school. That was the one good thing about West Chicago, we had a cool Bible study going on.

I don't know why this post is based so much on High School. Oh yes, Riane hates it there. For all those stuck there, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it's called college. Good times for all. I love college, well actually it's more the absence of high school that gives me joy*****.

You know I think my favorite speech question is where do you see yourself in fifteen years. In fact, I think I will answer that question in the form of a list now:

Where Do I See Myself In 15 Years List:
1. Alive or in Heaven
2. 34 (sorry about the number, it just works out that way)
3. Married
4. With Children with number demonstrated by this function

f(x) = K * 3x - f'(x) D: 15. having some sort of employment
6. controlling the love and respect or everyone in the world excluding China and Cuba. No one wants love from a communist.
7. Owning a dog named Mr. Marbles

And that is it.


* I think you have to be British to have your look say that.

**I will never, ever use Joy in another comparison to coffee "whipping through" anything again.

***Just to let you all know, I don't swear every 45 minutes, it's more like every 2 hours.

****Which would be the grossest thing I've experienced in the better part of 2 years, and please, don't ask me about the other thing, my therapist says it's better not to dwell on it.

*****Not Deen, but the spiritual gift, but if the absence of high school did give me a Deen, it'd definitely be Priscilla.

If you go to the beach and you don't like water, you might as well be going to the desert.

Man, my titles seem to be getting longer and longer. Oh well.

So, here is the promised blog. I can't promise that you will get anything out of this or even that it will be any, um, fun. But you guys will all still read it because you are obsessed with blogs. Freak.

Well, what a week let me tell you. Much has transpired within the past week and a half. Last Wed. I left for Jam camp and all those wonderful jr. highers made me laugh. A lot. Actually they came in just shy of first for the "who made Luke laugh the most" award. As usual, Matt Peterson took that one home. Here are just a few conversations that were typical Matt:

(Me, Pastor Phil and Matt were laying outside looking at the stars, Matt sees a shooting star)

Matt: Whoa! Did you see that shooting star?
Me: No, I guess it was a good one.
Matt: I looked like a comet, wait, what's the comets name? Hindenburg right?
Phil: Matt, that was a blimp that crashed early last century.
Matt: Well, I was close.

(Matt cooking burgers)

Matt: Man, it makes me happy when my burgers are girthy.

(on the bus ride home)

Matt: Man, I love the smell of gasoline
Luke: Gross
Matt: Oh come on Luke, how can you not like it? It's like "the man's smell to like".


Good old Matt. I'm sure there were others out there too but I can't remember them.

But Jam Camp was a great time for one and all. I know that God worked there and it is one of the coolest things to see kids worshiping God. Sometimes I don't think that i am making any difference, but that would be, again, focusing on myself. But it's when we focus on who God is in our lives that He uses us.

Anyways, back to stories. This one contained Matt but, really it's all about Joe, our Jap friend who we, in cabin 2 called, LA. (random commas ,,,)

This is before breakfast and Matt is taking a shower. Joe goes into our bathroom and even though he wasn't in our cabin it wasn't such an odd thing seeing as cabin 1 used our bathrooms to take their dumps. But anywho, I hear this:

Joe: Ahhhhhhh!!!! I'm scarred for life, I'm scarred for life!

(At this point Joe runs out of the bathroom)

You see, our showers didn't have shower curtains per se, but you had to walk around a corner to see anything, unfortunately for Joe, that's what he did.

His reasoning:

Me: Joe, didn't you hear the shower on?
Joe: Yeah, but I thought it was like one of those freaky movies where the shower is on just because.
Drew: Dude, you just saw my brother naked. That's sick.

About 7 minutes and 34 seconds later, Matt comes out. Laughing.

Matt: Where's Joe?
Drew: (says something I'm not going to repeat here)
Luke: I think he went to go cry himself to sleep. Did you see him walk in?
Matt: No, I was washing my hair.

Commence laughing by me, my brother Mark and Nathan. Not to mention that Matt had French braids and some other type of braid that Hannah would know and I would not. But all in all it was a great time.

However, this week has been great too. First of all, if you didn't know me and Cilla are dating by now, I officially ban you from this site because you are too inept to pick up on things. But yeah, I spent tons of time with her this week. Then I had work. Fun stuff.

So it's time again for people to start school and thus time again for me to wait to start school for another whole month. This may sound like a good thing but its really not. Last year was horrible waiting for stinking school to start. This year is a little more bearable because I'm not living on campus. But still, it sucks watching everyone go to school and there you are. Waiting for something to happen. What makes it worse is that my girlfriend leaves tomorrow.

But yes, all things will work out. And thus I'm done because I feel like crap.

I'll take the park bench without the scenic garbage can please...

For some people, putting lemon in water makes that water taste just like slightly flavored lemon water, which is gross. But for other people, it tastes just that much closer to lemonade.

Which is why I want to talk about me leaving for Jam Camp. You see when my last post said "Taking the week off" what I forgot to mention is that it's this week. So I tricked you all. But I thought I'd put in some overtime just for those who can't get enough instant classic.

Be ready for wild stories of passion and regret... actually probably not, more like stories about jr. high kids playing around with ducktape.

Actually last year two of the 8th graders came up to me and with pants hung low and side ways hats and all were like, "Dude, dude, you gotta check this prank out man, i mean, it's like the totally best prank man." So at the onset I was sort of laughing at them because I mean, they were idiots. But I was ony proven correct when I saw what their prank was . They had put ducktape around the shower head and knobs. They were like, "Isn't that the best!!!" I was like, "Yeah, um, so now they actually have to take the tape, uh, off." Them, "Yeah I know! Isn't that awesome!!" Hive fives all around.

Well, expect more stories like that. Oh fun.

And I will miss you all, especially one person who will remain nameless. Ok, she won't, I'm going to miss Priscilla the most. Sorry everyone else.

Taking the week off...

Since almost everybody is almost gone I'm taking the week off of blogging to get my thoughts together so I'll be back in business when the week rolls around. I leave all those who haven't left with these words by Keith Green:

Pledge my Head to Heaven
Well I pledge my head to heaven for the gospel.
And I ask no man on earth to fill my needs.
Like the sparrow up above I am enveloped in his love.
And I trust him like those little ones he feeds.

Well I pledge my wife to heaven for the gospel.
Though our love each passing minute just seems to grow.
As I told her when we wed, I'd surely rather be found dead.
Than to love her more than the one who saved my soul.

I'm Your child, and I wanna be in Your family forever.
I'm Your child, and I'm gonna follow You no matter whatever, the cost, well I'm gonna count on things lost.

Well I pledge my son to heaven for the gospel.
Though he's kicked and beaten, ridiculed and scorned.
I will teach him to rejoice, and lift a thankful praising voice.
And to be like him who bore the nails and crown of thorns.

Oh no matter whatever the cost, I'm gonna count on things lost.
Well I had the chance to gain the world.
And I lived it just like a game, but without Your love it doesn't mean a thing.
Oh no matter whatever the cost, well I'm gonna count on things lost.
Oh no matter whatever the cost, I'm gonna count on things lost.

Well I pledge my son, I pledge my wife, I pledge my head to heaven for the gospel. I pledge my son, I pledge my wife, I pledge my head to heaven for the gospel.

---

Although I have no wife or son, I plan on having them someday. These words are scary, but also true and inspiring. Jesus is worth much more than anything of this world and He wants you to give Him especially those things that you love the most.