No! Get your own tots!

So work is like the Plague...ok, I can't really come up with a connection to qualify my simile but I'm sure if I thought about it for long enough, I would get the plague.

So I went to the bathroom at work today. Three times. The third time the loan manager gave me this look like, "Are you really sure you have to go in there again?" and I gave him the look back that said, "Quite sure, my good man." Well, actually, I lied, the look that I gave him merely said, "Yes." but I wanted my look to sound more intellectual*. But anyway, it's not my fault, well it is, but it's not like I was in there for long amounts of time. Well, not really, but that was only once! The first time was because my morning coffee whipped through me faster than Joy reaching for her Reliv**. But none of them can say anything to me seeing as all of them spend half their day outside smoking it up. I swear, every 45 minutes*** they all take a smoke break, it's incredible!

But enough with that. So I talked to Cilla today. Before everyone jumps to put their hands over my mouth **** (besides Priscilla of course), that is not the point, only a bonus that you get to know. The point is this. She has to give a speech and there was a list of things that she could give the speech on. So one of them was what are 5 words that describe you. Now I got to thinking, and before everyone jumps to put their hands over my mouth again, this again is not the point. So by now, you are probably asking, "Luke, what the heck is the point, in fact, you never have points!" And with that you would be correct, but I was thinking that 5 words to describe yourself is pretty crappy. I would need at least 17, and that's pushing it. But anyhow, why is it that speeches in speech classes always have the first speech be about you, and the prof/teacher makes it really easy so in reality they can trick you into believing that they actually care about you and all the speeches will be that easy.

Ah, high school. I have fonder memories of that one time in Brazil surrounded by the Moochi-Moochi tribe right before they said they were going to cut off my extremeties, feed them to their pet pirahna god, and make me watch and right after I made that remark about how it seems that since they could shrink heads they might try the same thing on their high priestess' waistline. Now that was a pickle.

But ah, high school. Ah yes, the ever popular first day of of the freshmen year. Mr. Carper's Biology class. Then I had health, with Coach Neverly, then English with Mr. Collins, then lunch of course in which I sat with Chris and Jeff the whole year, then it was off to Chemistry with Mrs. Parks (who I hear is retired now) and of course after that was Geometry, the bane of my exitence with the teacher ironically named Mr. Babel (seeing as he made little to no sense, most of the time), I finished out my day with Geography with Mrs. Rash (I'm not even going to touch that one) and of course study hall in which we had assigned seating and I didn't get the nerve to try to leave that seating until midway through the semester and that was only because Vince was driving me nuts by asking if I had any new games on my TI-83 plus and I kept telling him I didn't want his drug cartel game because it talked about whores. But who really remembers high school anyways?

So prayerfest is tonight. I'm looking forward to it, I hope there are some people there from West Chicago, I plan on praying for that school. That was the one good thing about West Chicago, we had a cool Bible study going on.

I don't know why this post is based so much on High School. Oh yes, Riane hates it there. For all those stuck there, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it's called college. Good times for all. I love college, well actually it's more the absence of high school that gives me joy*****.

You know I think my favorite speech question is where do you see yourself in fifteen years. In fact, I think I will answer that question in the form of a list now:

Where Do I See Myself In 15 Years List:
1. Alive or in Heaven
2. 34 (sorry about the number, it just works out that way)
3. Married
4. With Children with number demonstrated by this function

f(x) = K * 3x - f'(x) D: 15. having some sort of employment
6. controlling the love and respect or everyone in the world excluding China and Cuba. No one wants love from a communist.
7. Owning a dog named Mr. Marbles

And that is it.


* I think you have to be British to have your look say that.

**I will never, ever use Joy in another comparison to coffee "whipping through" anything again.

***Just to let you all know, I don't swear every 45 minutes, it's more like every 2 hours.

****Which would be the grossest thing I've experienced in the better part of 2 years, and please, don't ask me about the other thing, my therapist says it's better not to dwell on it.

*****Not Deen, but the spiritual gift, but if the absence of high school did give me a Deen, it'd definitely be Priscilla.