Seinfeld makes me laugh

Quote of the year, my cousin talking about a poem he wrote to propose to his fiance: "Well at first I used the thesaurus and everything rhymed but then I couldn't read it so I just wrote something else that I could."

I'm in an artsy mood. I don't want to really create, write or painte anything, just talk like one.

Life is sort of like that quote, or at least how I'm thinking specifically about the quote's correlation to life at this particular moment. Everything that you do is done to be the most poetic thing in the world until you realize that it isn't you and you scrap everything and start over.

I think I want to be artsy because Tessa Konc added me as a friend on facebook, I was like her 5th friend. I'm not that much younger than Tessa except she is like 10 years older than me. And a photographer. She takes those pictures that look like they are tilted and in black and white. They look really good. Whenever I take pictures they look all tilted and off center and if I wasn't trying, they could be very good, artistic pieces except they aren't.

I laugh when people say that life is funny. It's true, life is funny. Life is funny like a lava flow because it moves slowly burning up everything. But then you look back and see that more has been burnt than you really thought and you wish it would move slower.

It is no longer 2005. That is hard for me to actually admit. I don't know why. Maybe it's hard because I started this blog in 2003. I liked 2005 because everything happened in 2005. Even 2004 happened in 2005. Even some of 2006 happened in 2005. It just seemed like a large year, larger than it should have been but now that it's over (really over, not just January of 06) I'm sad it is. So in order to keep my sanity and this blogI want to replay 2005 on this blog, or at least all the points that stick out. I wish it could be in chronological order, but then it wouldn't really be 2005.

It was a particularly hot summer. I went swimming in my pool, which was unusual for me, which means I am even more unusual because people who have pools usually swim in them. It seems like a lot of people found out about my pool this year. It's probably because I was willing to go swimming in it myself. But only twice. Or maybe three times. I would then get out of the pool after 15 minutes and smoke a cigar with my dad. Smoking can do wonders for relationships. Ha, that's not something they tell you on those TRUTH commercials. I remember standing on the edge of my pool thinking how much like growing up it was. A really cold pool is something I really don't like rushing into. No one should rush into a really cold pool. You try to go in slowly but then someone ends up pushing you. That's how I feel about 2005, and growing up. I think 2005 saw the beginning of a really adult me, slowly stifling the child me. It was cold and wet and it still takes some getting used to.

COD also happened in 2005. Not so much happened as was a brief moment in which I could have a lot of fun at school and not worry too much about anything. At the beginning of my 2005 I became friends with Joy, Royce, Allison and Candace. At the end of 2005 we don't go to COD together anymore. But we're still friends.

On November 11th, 2005 I won a bet with Joy that said she would be dating someone. I still haven't gotten my meal out of it but that was a real big part of 2005. For some reason it reminds me of my first fake but real girlfriend Mandy who got engaged this 2005, at least in my 2005, it was actually at midnight on New Years Day.

I learned to be honest. Lots of stuff came out this year, some good and some bad. Honesty is always good because it proves that lust, greed and pride have nothing on Jesus, he can beat those things with not so much a look, but lies are very hard to beat, in fact he couldn't do it in one life he had to do it in two. But He still did it anyways which allowed me to be honest in the first place.

I found that I had a great friend this year. His name is Ritch Sandford and the way we got to be friends again was the Terrible Incident of Ritch's life, the destruction of a dream and his engagement. If you asked him now I think he might say that life still goes on, even after sin. We are friends, and we love each other like brothers do. I can go to battle with him and feel guilty about sin, which is a beautiful gift sometimes. There is nothing like guilt to break a hard heart, or harden one for that matter.

I moved into my basement with my brothers, perhaps one of the biggest and most unexpected moves of my 2005. You see, my brothers and I have it all. We are friends that can confide in one another and use each other's clothes. Best friends I call them, best friends with better fashion senses than I have.

I discovered that I can't do grammar. What I mean is that I am not very good at it. Just like Microsoft Word isn't very good at it.

My old friend Pat, fell in love again and it still moves me to tears to think about it sometimes. He doesn't know how much I secretly hoped it would happen, but I did. And I still do.

I saw Derek Webb twice in concert, once with Joy and once with Priscilla. Dan was there too, once before our cd was made and once after. Or, actually he was there only before our cd was made and even then he still told me to call it a record. But aren't those usually bigger and black?

2005 had Alie going to New Zealand, Lissy going to that one college and me going to North Central again. I apologized for real in 2005 and me and Alie saw that God was good even if we couldn't always be. But it was mostly my fault anyways. You can also lump the end of my experience with Jam in this group too. I don't know why, but it just feels right.

Allison broke up with Matt, Hannah broke up with Evan and Ritch broke up with Gen. Priscilla dumped me. Dan's still single. In 2005 I found the love of my life. She's everything that I wanted in air conditioning, ice cream, my favorite video game, Christmas day, and a good laugh all rolled up in one. She also makes me smile a lot. I'm smiling right now and very thankful. There has to be a very good God who knows more than we do or else God is very cruel that at the end of my 2005 I should be happy while others are sad and still others very much alive, more alive than all of us, but just out of our reach. It does feel strange to be at the receiving end of "why do good things still happen to bad people?" Unfortunately that means that others must be experiencing the reverse of that, or would it be the inverse? Bad happening to good is like centrifugal force, it doesn't really exist but it sure does make your brain feel like it's coming out. But still, who's good anyways?

What is God in my 2005? He's the gravity that holds it all down. If that is too cliche I'm sorry but He just has to be, He's always like that. Extending His grace when it looks like candy and when it looks like poison. But I still love His grace even if I pretend not to, God knows me better than that.

I guess to end it all, Seinfeld really does make me laugh.