Instant Classic, where everything rhymes with Philadelphia

It's been one of those years. It really has. I've been waiting for a year to pass on my blog so i could say, "hey i've been blogging for a year." So it's come and gone. What a year it has been. At this point last year i would be coming home from Kohl's all tired and with no place to go except for this little old box that would beckon to me. A lot has changed since then.

Some of my favorite blogging type memories are as follows:

Coming up with the "Luke Method"
Using *
Putting up lists with no meaning
Telling stories about work
Posting weird AIM messages
Making fun of Pat's shortness
Making fun of Alie's blondness
Basically making fun of Joy in general (this is NEW!)
Putting up funny quotes
Complaining about candy in metal tins
Posting sometimes serious blogs
Talking about magic bums
My thoughts on marriage
Um, girls, yeah
Doing those weird email profiles
Basically doing what ever I want

And now as a service to you all I will do everything on that list in this here blog:

- The Luke Method: Part 2

It is always annoying when get online and say hi right before you are about to put an away message up. Thus I have decided that you have a period of 10 seconds to put an away message if you were about to sign off and then someone im's you. This is not rude it is appropriate.

-**

- Today's list of very meaningless things:
a. pair of plyers
b. firecracker
c. epiphone
d. joy's obsessions
d1. Catholicism
d2.Reliv
d3. ***
d4. eye rolling (probably at me)
e. catch phrase!
f. Wonton soup
g. "in need of some lovin' "
h. History of the World: Part I

- Telling Stories about work: Julian went to the bathroom 8 times last tuesday. And they think I'm the weird one for counting! But seriously, i love how people get mad at me for dumb things, like the other day some lady got mad at me because her checks were clearing right away. I *gently* pointed out that it was because of a new federal program called Check 21. She asked me why the government put this into place. I said what any normal person would say, "Terrorists." Heck if i know why the government does what it does. Heck if even Hilary Clinton knows why the government does what it does. So she (the lady on the phone, not Hilary Clinton, although I wouldn't be suprised if H.C. said this) says to me, "Terrorism! I can't even use tampons anymore without it being terrorism." To this I wisely did not ask why it would be bumped up to orange if she used tampons.

- Posting weird AIM conversations (I tried to get Joy to be more funny, but she wouldn't) Stdly709: Hey Joy, we need to have a weird IM conversation
joyfulworship18: huh?
Stdly709: yeah that's good, now I'll think of something, um, have you ever heard the song, "It's raining men?"
Stdly709: actually the ? mark should be outside the "
joyfulworship18: uhhh
Stdly709: Joy I want you to do something for me
joyfulworship18: NO
joyfulworship18: what
Stdly709: take your right hand and put it on the right side of your face, then take your left hand and put it on the left side of your face then squeeze
joyfulworship18: Luke, I don't know why I'm even having this conversation
Stdly709: exactly but you will soon
Stdly709: so did you do it?
joyfulworship18: what do you think
Stdly709: yes!?
Stdly709: !
Stdly709: (that's an exclamtion point)
Stdly709: ok Joy, now you have to say something funny
joyfulworship18: heck no
Stdly709: why not?
joyfulworship18: Luke, seriously
Stdly709: yes?
Stdly709: this is serious
Stdly709: Joy
Stdly709: seriously
Stdly709: so joy what did you do today?
joyfulworship18: went shopping, helped interpret a dream
Stdly709: really? what was the dream?
joyfulworship18: Luke, can we talk later? I'm having a serious convo
joyfulworship18: I can't tell you the dream
Stdly709: you never have time for my needs joy, whatever happened to us?
Stdly709: don't remember it huh, i hate it when that happens
joyfulworship18: there never was an us
Stdly709: ouch
joyfulworship18: now, in my nicest tone, please go away for now
Stdly709: i guess that will have to do
joyfulworship18: thank you much

-Making fun of pat's shortness: Pat is short.

-Making fun of Alie's blondness: Actually, I can't think of anything stupid Alie has done as of late. Although, give it time, it will come.

-Making fun of Joy in general (this is NEW!): I'm sorry Joy, I really am. You know how some people have hobbies? Um, I really don't know where I'm going with that, but you should get some hobbies. I mean not that you don't have hobbies right now. But what I was trying to say is that I should get a hobby. And hobby really is a funny word when you think of it. Maybe like a cross between hobo and gimp. I don't know why, but it works. Or maybe as an adjetive. Joy you are very hobby. ha. Good one. - Putting up funny quotes: Um, just go talk to Joy (sorry, I'm still kinda stuck on the last part) oh yeah, "Let's get some fire under those computer seats." - Joy that would hurt. But as they say, it's the way of the future. - Complaining about candy or metal tins or something that i'm too lazy to scroll up again because it's not funny at all: I think the most bizarre thing that happened with candy this week was that Ethan took some of my tic tacs even though he has his own. Also I thought that Joy liked the name Kat and so I said she should name her other kid Kit and then you could have kit and kat and be like, "give me a break." Boy, I'm dumb.

- Posting somewhat serious posts:

So Moody. I wonder why everyone gets married in there? I mean, it has the reputation. So I will now make a few conjectures at why Moody is the marriage breeding ground that it is:

1. There is something in the food that makes couples attract more than at most colleges. I decided to investigate this a little more last year by eating more food from cough-up, I mean Kaufman dining hall to see if I became more desirable. I didn't. In fact, it just seemed to make things worse and the only thing I became more of was gassy.

2. They all live in a romantic setting anyways, downtown Chicago, so it increases the mood. Once again, I thought that even though Naperville wasn't as romantic as Chicago, we did have the riverwalk and we don't have Caprini Green. So I thought we may even out or be just a small gap behind Chicago. But once again, the romantic scenery of a walk on the river did nothing to increase my chances or any other people's success of marriage except perhaps my RA stump.

3. Women go there looking for husbands. This may be true and I have no way to check this as far as research done at North Central goes. All I know is that probably all the decent girls go to Moody and none go to North Central. There may be one or two but heck if I can find them and heck if I care to look.

4. Guys go there looking for wives. This also may be true (as in Matt Peterson's case perhaps?) but I'd be more willing to believe the other way around than this way because there are few things as a girl one can do at Moody besides get married to a pastor/youth pastor/missionary/theologian and guys can do all those. Granted girls can do the last two but they'll probably get married anyways.

5. There is some weird crap going on at Moody that only Moody students know about. I'd bet most my money on this one. So before anyone *coughjoycough* bites my head off I do think that Moody is the best Bible college around. However, it does have that reputation for producing more marriages liscenses than theologians. But hey, what do I know?

Yeah so that was not very serious, but seriously, this is serious. I mean who the heck knows why stinking moody people get married so stinking fast, my friend wants to get engaged by next fall! Granted he is going to be a senior. That means I'm going to be a junior. THat means I will be an upperclassmen. Ugh, no good can come of jr. year. I hear it's like 10 times worse that anything that can be expected. Ugh. How horrible. But yeah, seeing as I knew this guy in middle school and that he is about to get engaged worries me. First of all, how is it that someone close to me and also close to me in age (actually we are the same age for about a month) is going to get engaged (most likely) in the very near future of 7 to 8 months. Second, how is it that I am so not nearly prepared enough to be married to anyone in the next 7 to 8 years. Actually I hope to be married before 8 years but that's just me.

- Talking about magic bums: And yes, I saw ali the other day when I went to Naperville to drop off something. He had his $450 winter coat on and his nice looking bike (I think it was a sledgehammer) and he was sitting there looking all content. I don't understand this nor will I ever.

- My thoughts on marriage:

I think my thoughts on marriage were summed up pretty nicely in the following post, first of all the thing that weddings mean to me the most is : Dressing appropriately

So I was dressed up a lot this past weekend. Amazingly, I didn't wear the same thing twice as I thought I would.

Second most important thing that weddings mean to me: bachelor parties

Friday I went to the leadership appreciation banquet and man, I was appreciated. Seriously though, it was a good time for all. After that I went with Josh and Gerg (jr. high leaders) to Tim Allchin's (jr. high pastor) bachleor party. I really didn't know what to expect because he is a pastor and such, but I expected right, there was only *one* stripper. But I kid. I wouldn't really say there was a stripper per se, as much as a bunch of guys hanging out at Dave and Busters. So just to clarify before anyone calls the church and reports Tim, there was no stripper. So enough about bachleor parties.

Third thing is obviously: Allison's driving****

On to weddings. Saturday was Tim's wedding and it was a fun time. Allison drove and she did really well, I felt bad for her because when we were driving home a storm hit that made it so we could see very little and she had to drive in it while Matt and Beth talked about music and iPods and I sat in the front wondering why so many people had their hazards on. But we got home safely. Fourth thing: someone actually gets married But Tim and Heather's wedding was good, as far as weddings go. I'm not really an expert on weddings, rather I'd call myself the opposite of expert but hey, they got hitched so I guess the wedding was a success, right?

Fifth thing: my wedding/food/music (wow look at my standards)

But I did decide a couple of things that I want to do or not do at my wedding. The first thing is this: make sure I'm the first one to eat. Heck, it's my wedding, and I'll be hungry. Second, about this tapping the spoon against the glass for a kiss, I haven't really decided about that yet, becuase the noise, really annoys me but I'm going to want to kiss my wife as many times as I can at the reception. Also, I'm not going to sing a song well known for my wedding song, Steven Curtis Chapman's "I Will Be Here" was in my head for too long. And the funny part was it wasn't even the words, just that piano solo near the end. Stupid piano solo. So I've decided I'm going to write a song for my wife to play at the wedding. Thus, no one will have to have any songs stuck in their head. Oh, and I want a cool processional song, like the song at the end of Star Wars: A New Hope, before all the females are like, "Well, I guess I won't be marrying him ever," listen to the song, it's pretty cool, especially for a processional. It's not like I want my wife to march to it. No, it'll be the wedding march for her, not the Prince of Denmark's March. Who knew Denmark ever had a prince? Not me. Oh yeah, and I'm not going to have someone say, "If anyone knows why these to people should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace." I thought that was a requirement or something, but no, no one said that on Saturday. Plus, if anyone waited until my wedding day to say, "Um, I may have a problem..." I think at that point I would shoot him dead, or just shoot him. With a squirt gun. And then we could all have a really cool squirt gun fight. Or not. Remember people, the song at the end of Star Wars rocks. And so do weddings. Sometimes.

- Um, girls, yeah: Here is an excerpt from last years New years blog when I was summing up 2003:

April was a big month for me. That month started the first, latest and only chapter in the Luke's Book of Girlfriends. Yeah, Mandy and me started non-date dating. It was a good time let me tell ya.

then a little further down the post

July, Mandy and I broke up

So actually now I have two chapters but who really goes for length anyways. Not this guy. Of course this chapter was much more interesting than the first but I'm going to stop now or Joy will kill me. I'm serious you guys, I would be dead.

- doing those wierd email profile things:

Some of my favorite questions/answers are as follows:

1.Do you shave? Yes.

2.What do you shave? Whatever feels right.

3. Why? Because if I shaved something that felt wrong I'd be in a mess of trouble.

31. Describe melancholy. It always makes me think of Robin Hood, although they were supposed to be merry, they didn't have RELIV

87. What did you like to make believe as a child? That I was batman, and that batman actually had superpowers, and that I had chicks.

Do you drink? Only to get drunk, and even then only to make my problems go away.

What is your favourite curse word? succubus.

What is the worst feeling in the world? Making little Johnny cry after you tell him that his parents have just died in a horrible car accident, then finding out that little Johnny is an orphan.

So there it was, a list of my favorite things that I have done in my posts. Ah the memories, ah the nostalgia. It just kills you sometimes. Like Joy. But only sometimes. I'm sorry Joy. I really have had a great year posting, which is why i regret to inform you that I will no longer be blogging. I figure it's best to go out on top. And of course I'm just kidding. Blogging is pathetically an important part of my life. I will do it untill the day I die. Or get married. Or take over the world. But really, aren't they all the same anyways? This is in honor and memory of Dan. He will be missed. Not really. Sorry Dan. Now I have a special note for everyone.

Riane: You are my blogging hero, you started it all, actually that's a lie, Allison started it all. but I saw it on your away message and that has to count for something.

Allison: Your blog's have always made me laugh. Especially when they have funny things from cod.

Dan: Well, what can I say. Yep.

Pat: You complete me.

Alie: You need to post more and you are going away so you definitely need to post more. If you can. Originally, this was our site you know.

Mandy: will never read this, but she blogged here once.

Priscilla: Joy will kill me if I talk about you.

Joy: You are a riot. And dangerous. The way you speak cracks me up, but I will abstain from repeating the utterances that come to mind from one such as yourself.

Dave: I enjoy the realness of your posts. Lord knows I don't have any on mine. Keep up the good work.

Jenna: Nice try Jenna, really, 10 points for effort.

Bekah: I think there were a couple of your posts where you were talking about me because you were mad at me but i pretended like i didn't realize it. Thanks for not saying that I suck so bad.

Evan: i still want to be you when i grow up.

Hannah: Oh one of many names, you will be long remembered as hank or whoever else you said you were.

Luke: You keep pluggin away little guy, keep doing the best you can.

Ok that was pushing it.

** I used em twice now!
*** let's just say this may or may not be a person of male gender
**** Allison hit Michael's car, while he was standing looking at her pulling up. Wow.