If I was a title, I'd be sure I was called, "Recent Ages: The way I was until I fell all the way down the mountain." (Abridged)

So I haven't blogged much lately.  Probably due to the fact that I haven't been tired enough to write a blog.  That's what's strange about me, i write when I'm sleepy and lately i've been getting enough sleep.  This hasn't happened since I stopped bed wetting*.  But the getting enough sleep was brought to a quick close due to the new job.  Thus I have decided that standing on one's feet for eight hours a day, everyday can change a man.  Sure, feet are made for standing but then again, what are chairs for. 

But seriously you guys, this job is a cool job.  I'm a teller at a bank, so I smile and count a lot of money but not at the same time.   I guess it's bad for business if you have a grin on your face as you count other people's money.  I haven't figured out why yet.   But an interesting thing happened today.  I was checking accounts and I came upon one and I open up his file and the first paper I saw was the only owner's death certificate.  Well, this intrigued me because I was wondering how the dead would make withdrawls and goodness knows if they could make deposits!  I mean they're dead for crying out loud!  So I looked up the account on the computer just to get a good laugh and see that there was really no money in there.  But there was.  So I have decided that our new slogan should be "We serve you after hours, even if you're dead".  Actually this person had two accounts. 

Ahh, but then there are other things in life besides money.  Moist towelletes for one.  I found one the other day when we were recording and I was very disapointed in the human race when I read the back of it.  I mean I'm generally disapointed in the human race but this was a new low.  As I was reading the back of it** I happened upon the directions:

Tear package, remove towellete, unfold, use.

...

 
::cough::

...

DO YOU THINK WE'RE FREAKING IDIOTS!!!

I admit some may need to know that you must first unwrap the package before using, and those people would also have three teeth, have fifty cousins, thirty-two brothers, 1 sister, 4 mothers, 1 pater familias, 3 hogs who they called cousins, think that the internet is something that catches small fish, live in Tennessee or Kentucky, think swearing is a good use of vocab, not realize that 25 of his 50 "cousins" are actually sisters, 2 of the "moms" are actually cousins, 1 of the hogs, isn't really a hog but rather a brother whom they forgot the name to and they say things like, "Reckon those bumps are causin' that itch'n paw?"

But please do we really read the word "use"? 

I have a feeling that those who need that word won't be able to read and wouldn't really know what proper hygene was if it was their favorite rifle.

But all that aside, Dan put new strings on his guitar.

You suck Dan.

But we love Dan because Dan loves Denver and probably Regis and Kelly live***.

And I will leave you with this thought:

There are three things I want to accomplish before the summer ends:
 Bring back the high five, make ironing a fad just waiting to go away, and coin the phrase “as speedy as inflamed tonsils”

*Trust me, I have stopped

**It takes a long time for Dave and Dan to get ready and sitting in the "foam room" can get pretty boring.

***Regis upgraded from Kathy Lee.  No one likes Kathy Lee.  Except for Conan O'Brian, but good grief, he's worse than Kathy Lee.