Seriously, where have all the cowboys gone?

As my blog is being called into "unoriginality*" and just plain not original, I must defend the classic. Few have been as original as I have, only Riane, Dan, Allison, Pat, Alie, Joy, Hannah, Dave and Bekah have been more so. Jenna isn't because she never blogs, Mark and Ethan don't count because they are young yet and Priscilla, well she called me unoriginal so even though she is more creative than I am, she doesn't count for the day. But other than those people I am definitely more creative than every other blog I read...

...

Well, who else could come up with catchy titles like "Bananas in the nude" or "Of Sausage and well, Sausage..." or use the title "Mawidge" twice on one blog spot without being caught. And who else but your's truly could have created such rave's on topics such as marriage, valentine's day or have 51 comments. This place is original. This place is creative, this place is an instant classic!!!

(applause)

Well, not that I'm done with that I have decided to start a "Deep Message's with Luke's Voicemail" somewhat like Deep Thoughts with Jack Handy but more *creative*.

I also like fruit, which brings me to my next point of why my grandpa's dog needs a good kick. She's ok until you try to leave and then she snaps at your legs, which is no good.

Zero fun.

You know what else is zero fun? Alternators. Actually I should clarify.

But back to fruit, the main fruits I don't like are prunes, and well prunes. Oh yeah, and there's this guy on my old floor in seager who's room had matching funriture, whatever that implies.

This is a blog of many paragraphs as well, since I need to be more creative, I decided to depart from my usual trend of one very long paragraph into two. But once again, I should clarify.

You know what is going to be great, no not the Tippy(tm) plush doll coming out, but Seinfeld is coming out on DVD. My brother says he wants them for Christmas but I said it first. Ha.

So I went golfing today, it was a good time. I beat both my brothers which was an accomplishment of the ages seeing as next year they will both appear in Guinness Book of World Records as the worst twin golfers in the greater Chicago land area. And yes, it's a category I checked.*

But that begs to ask the question to the answer, "Not on my watch." Which would of course be, "Would you ever play Jeopardy?"

Something wicked this way comes. I think that is the dumbest phrase for a children's movie ever. What are we doing to our kids? Grammar hello. What if all our kids started talking like that? I mean, uh, our hypothetical kids of course. But still, instead of, "Bobby is hungry," it would be, "Bobby hungry right now is." This is a tavesty to the greater Chicago land area and I am more than just a little remiss about the whole situation at hand. Which isn't about grammar, no that's just a surface issue.

The real issue is whether Alf really was an alien who landed a tv show or just a puppet.

Now it is the time of the post where I get to make a list with your typical numbering of letters such as a, b, and may contain but not be limited to c.

Today's list is, "Things that I want to accomplish in the near or not so near future that will not put me or the universe at risk or cause me or the universe to have a tipple by-pass surgery unless the risk or surgery get's me married, rich, or famous, or none of the above."

1a. To go to every restaurant in downtown naperville.
1b. To have a date for at least two of those restaurants.
1c. To have my date actually be at the same *table*.
1d. To have my date be a real person, with little to no issues.
1e. To realize that 1d is impossible because all girls have issues.
2a. To lead the rebellion against the forces of darkness.
2b. To win the war against the forces of darkness.
2c. To name my dog "forces of darkness"
2d. To make sure that my rebellion really means "to feed, preferably one with the name 'forces of darkness'.
3a. To say to a cop, "Hey man, xyz".
3b. To make him look.
4xyz.Go trick or treating when I'm 30.
4@#$. To get candy by saying I'm dressed up as a 30 year old pretending to be a 10 year old who says his costume is a 30 year old.
4nth. To say to the cop who shows up "Hey man, XYZ"
4(something) To be right.
5. To invent the Force
6. To use it against the forces of darkness, this time not my dog.
7. In between leading my rebellion and using the force get married to someone who likes Star Wars, or LOTR, or Matrix (but to a lesser degree), Count Chocula and/or Booberry and/or that other Halloween cereal, and will buy me any of the aforementioned cereals.
8a. Discover cold fusion -or-
b. Trick Matt Peterson into sitting on a whoopee cushion, which ever comes first.
9. Referee a professional wrestling match and say, "No blood on the carpet, let's go."
10. Meet Josh Harris only to blow him off.
11. Have an email read by Strongbad.
12. Go to Austrailia
13. Vote a local official into office.
14. Make fun of the losing local official because he lost and the majority of the people in town don't like him.
15. Change the constituion to have some reference to clowns.
16. Make a list of *real* life goals.
17a. Have a "17b."
17b. Celebrate for completing 17a.
18. Catch a baseball at a game.
19a. Drive to the mall in my sleep.
19b. While driving, have a dream that I am driving to the mall in my sleep.
20. End this list on a good note.

So there you have it folks, the last 20 minutes of my life wasting away into nothingness.

Will tv ever become obsolete? Chew on this for a minute and get back to me for tomorrow's premeeting. About tv, I think that the best tv show out there is a trick shot pool show. Has anyone ever seen this show, talk about an amazing yet fairly useless skill to have. Unless of course you are on that show, then I guess you could win and possibly make enough money to cover your airfare and food, but unfortunately not the rental car. But seriously, if I had another life to devote to something it would definitely be writing survey questions all my life, but learning how to play pool is probably 5th or 6th wasted life down the line.

Does anyone know why Evan is so cool? Well the answer could be blowin in the wind but i think it's because he almost never posts but when he does those crazy posts go on for ever. Well, of course I mean forever only in a purely mythological way and only then because he's Evan.

So with all this talk about salvation, I mean reliv it's a wonder I haven't jumped on the original bandwagon. But seriously folks me and reliv go way back. Actually she was my partner for 10 years on the force. I remember that one night when things got a little too steamy, then I realized that the water that I was boiling fogged up my glasses. Anyways, Reliv was a good partner, until that one night when we busted up a bank robery in progress and well, as good a cop she was, well, I never thought she made it. Then I see this feisty little powder running around New York on tv one day and at first I thought it was an allusion, well perhaps just a hyperbole, but well I tried to get in touch. Good thing the internet is the way it is and i found her. I decided not to call her though because she was on one of those internet dating services and that's just not my style. I do remember her descrition of herself, "I'm energetic, athletic, healthy, basically any thing you want me to be. I am looking for a male who thinks that the soil is no longer enriched with the correct nutrition due to soil leeching and one who can do great back rubs. Some of my hobbies are saving people's life, re-growing limbs, curing every ailment, and putting the Re back in live," whatever the heck that meant.

So that's when I decided I'd stick to fruit. Except prunes. It's always been a question to me why old people need fiber. Maybe they just need reliv?

I had an arguement with my brother the other day about which superhero is the best. He argued for spiderman and I said batman definitely because he doesn't have superpowers and since superpowers don't exist and everyother superhero has superpowers that means batman is the only superhero that exists. He didn't quite get the point though seeing as he asked where Gotham was and I was like, "This is sooo, not a geography debate."

Mark got a haircut.

Of course this blog would not be complete without something else. I should really get on that.

*And by checked I really mean thought it about it for a second and thought if there wasn't a category like that then there should be.