Excerpts from Mandy's Giant Book of Problem Solving

So you know what I do when I feel like killing someone? I go over to their house and ring their doorbell and when they come to the door, I'm gone, but you know I leave? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in it's head and a note that says 'you.' That usually makes me feel much better and there's no harm done. Nice eh? That's a problem that I can fix. But if you crawled into a log and fell asleep, and some guys came and sealed up both ends of the log, and shipped it to another city... boy... I don't know what I'd do.